pointless self-indulgence PONIES PONIES PONIES

It's not exactly a secret that I was an old-school MLP fan, back when ponies were about fighting off potion-wielding sorceresses and soul-stealing demons. I've never really gotten into Friendship Is Magic, not because I have anything against it, but because I already have ponies in my heart and I don't feel the need to replace them.

This is boring toy talk, nothing to do with games. I just wanted to see if I can figure out how many of the things I used to own when I was little before I moved out and my family disposed of the collection. If you are not a pony fanatic ESCAPE NOW.

Some of these almost certainly belonged to my sister rather than me, technically, but I can't possibly remember by now. It's also possible I'll forget a few or think I had one just because it got talked about too much but nobody's perfect.

Year 1 - Blossom and Cotton Candy. Yes, I was in on this thing from the very beginning. They were kind of boring ponies, though. All they had going for them was being pink and purple.

Year 2 - Glory, Moondancer, and Sunbeam. I liked unicorns. And their symbols were sparkly! These three probably suffered the most abuse of any ponies in my collection, though. I'm pretty sure I lost at least one of them, and at least one other had her tail pulled out due to a cleaning accident. I think. Also, those glittery symbols tended to rub off. Sunbeam never got any attention in the cartoons and I think I ended up giving her more of Ribbon's personality in play? I was much fonder of Glory and Moondancer. IIRC in the intervening years I've found at least one bit of pony merchandise which made them a couple... although said merchandise was a little confused about standard pony gender. I can't remember which of them it made into a boy.

Oh yes, also Moonstone - another unicorn but this one with RAINBOW HAIR. Don't remember much about her though.

Year 3 - Tickle (first pegasus, and I'm pretty sure she 'belonged' to my sister. I really was more unicorn-obsessed.) Baby Glory and Baby Moondancer (told you I liked them).

Sea Shimmer (my only Sea Pony, i think).

Maaaaybe Megan and Sundance? I feel like I must have had Megan, but at the same time the doll looks wrong somehow. Possibly just because that dress is so unsuited to the character. Perhaps I dressed her in something else immediately and that's why it feels so odd. Was there a special Bendy Legs Megan designed to sit on ponies?

Year 4 - The fuzzy version of Lickety Split, which I thought was kind of creepy and never got any other furry ponies. I think I bought her because Lickety Split was featuring a lot in the cartoons?

Masquerade, the first pegasus that was actually mine, because she had jewel eyes and was therefore cooler than just a normal pegasus. Obviously they represented arcane laser power.

We found the blinky-eyed babies interesting as well and probably had Baby Ribbon and Baby Gusty. Maybe Baby Lickety-Split but I'm not sure.

I owned Morning Glory for about three minutes. Like many disappointed little girls, as soon as I got her out of the packaging her wings IMMEDIATELY broke, and as we were still in the car leaving the toy store my parents went right back in and complained and I got something else instead. Today there are people on ebay who will custom-make you better replacement wings for your wingless Flutter Pony because let's face it, if you played with that toy you broke it.

Baby Half Note - my sister was into ballet, I'm pretty sure she got this playset.

Molly and Baby Sundance - again, I'm uncertain about this.

... Are you terrified by this list yet?

Year 5 - Princess Tiffany, who ruled over the high shelf in my closet (because princesses cannot mingle with the common folk except in emergency drama situations) and was obviously the best pony ever because I thought Tiffany was a pretty neat name at the time. If only her wand had been purple instead of blue, because then it would have been amethystine and sheer perfection (my birthstone).

Baby Tic Tac Toe and Baby Fifi? Those had to have been my little sister's. Plus Milkweed and Tumbleweed and Noodles and Doodles. I can't remember what was interesting about the twin baby ponies other than them being small enough to fit into toy prisons (my playtime got weird occasionally)

Also, Spunky the Camel. Not sure why. Maybe there weren't any good ponies on the shelf that day. Maybe I was getting bored.

Year 6 - ... and all of a sudden I think I got ponied out. The cartoon must have come to an end. Also, I was sort of growing older by this point! I may have had the Twice As Fancy version of Buttons but most of the ponies in the year 6 list don't even sound familiar, and the years past that are a complete blank.

What can we tell from this?

Unicorns are the superior breed of pony. Not only could they teleport, they also got bonus magic powers based on their symbols. If you want an invincible pony army you want unicorns.