GTA4 can piss right off

I'm sorry, I just don't get it.

I get that it's a good game if you're into that sort of thing. I don't want to stop you from playing it if you like it. I hear it even has good writing, which I applaud in a game. Big open world, lots to see, pretty cool. Enjoy it.

I don't get the apotheosis, the screaming fanboys proclaiming it the centerpiece of games-as-art and the Best Game Ever etc etc etc. Personally, you could not pay me to play it.

... Well, okay, if you paid me enough I'd at least try I guess.

Why? Because I have zero interest in driving around shooting people. I do not want to be a gangster. I do not want to pick up hookers. I do not want to kill hookers. I do not want to shoot cops. I do not want to curbstomp people. I do not want to run drugs. Spitting profanities does not make me bounce with glee. Crashing cars does not excite me. Actually, these are all things I'm scared of in the real world - cars, guns, and nasty violent people - and while for some people, engaging with the things they're scared of in game format is exhilerating, for me personally I'd rather do something fun.

And all that open world, living breathing city stuff? Makes the game less appealing rather than more, to me. Not because it's not cool, but... Well, for one thing, making things 'realer' removes the silliness of the old shooting gallery games and brings things closer to a worship-the-gun action movie which as said I'm just not into. For another, having this big open world to explore makes me want to be able to interact with it in a way that doesn't involve gunning people down. Can we have a sandbox game that isn't about being a murderer? Where's my sandbox mystery investigation game?

So, like I said. I don't care if you're playing it and you're liking it, I'm not trying to take it away from you. But don't expect me to sing its praises.