Browsing randomly through games to see what's in the bargains, I stumble across something covered in sparkly pink hearts and stars and labeled 'Princess Melody'.
As you know, gentle readers, I do not immediately assume that all which is cutesy must be inutterable crap, and therefore went to see what it was.
It is apparently aimed at 4-year-old girls, which is pretty young for video games, so okay, you don't expect anything complicated. But according to the reviews from annoyed parents, it's also all of twenty-minutes long. That's it. For a (suggested retail) full-price game.
(The video is pretty cringe-inducing too, and includes that voice some people use when speaking to small children through a pasted-on smile with gritted teeth.)
Thankfully, I cannot find this product on Amazon US. Maybe someone flatly refused to publish it there.